Divorce – Are you Feeling Cheated?

Marriage requires a lot of time, effort, and energy. The trust and commitment that is required to keep a marriage alive is not built in one day. Compromises may need to be made on a daily basis to accommodate another person into your life completely. Living with another person requires a lot of patience because the other person may not have the same living habits and lifestyle as you do.

Divorce Can Wipe off the Emotional, Financial, and Time Investment

It can never be easy to put the needs of the one you love before your own because you truly need to love someone and be selfless in order to do that. All this effort can seem so useless when a couple is standing in the court fighting for who gets what.

Many men tend to spend a lot of time at work so that they can provide every comfort of life to their wives and children. This may mean compromising on personal happiness, working late hours and still getting up early for office the next morning, or maybe even working weekends. Such men tend to feel extremely cheated during and after a divorce because they feel they made so much effort to keep their wives happy and yet that effort was not good enough to keep the marriage intact.

On the other hand, there are many women who sacrifice their rising career so that they can take care of their husbands and children. Giving up a career is never an easy decision. From being a strong corporate woman you end up becoming a homemaker who has to take care of each and every petty chore of the house. Your husband and your children become the centre of your world and just when you begin to cherish this new world, your husband asks you for a divorce.

Such women tend to feel extremely cheated because they give up their high-paying jobs, financial security, and career goals for their marriage only to realise later that divorce is in the offing. When this happens, women are bound to feel extremely financially insecure. In addition, they feel naïve about their decision to switch their priorities from work to their home.

Divorce Can Make People Feel Like Losers

Both men and women who are sincere to their marriages feel like losers at the time of divorce. When you put in your time, energy, and financial resources in making anything work, you expect rewards. Marriage is no different.

People spend years and years of working hard on your marriage so that the love, trust, and commitment, and happiness in their marriage can be preserved. A lot of time and effort goes into sorting out the trivial and major fights. People who devote their time and energy to their marriage vow to never sleep on a fight and resolve all issues as they arise so that the marriage can be devoid of any tension or unhappiness.

Many people plan regular surprises for their spouses to keep the excitement alive in their marriage. You may have planned surprise vacations or dinners for your partner by going that extra mile. However, at the time of divorce, all those extra efforts seem like a waste. People tend to feel very hurt at such times. You feel that you were trying to please a person who does not care about the very thing that mattered the most to you - your marriage.

A model friend of mine hesitated about having babies after her marriage because she thought that gaining weight could spell disaster for her career. However, since her husband was so insistent, she agreed. After one year, her husband told her that he wanted a divorce because he thought that the marriage was not what he had expected it to be. However, by this time, she had already given up her career, had a baby, and was financially dependent on her husband. In addition, she had gained a lot of weight during her pregnancy so she could not go back to modelling again either. She felt so cheated that she vowed never to marry again. Though she has had her share of relationships since that time, she still maintains her single status.

Therefore, the setback from a failed marriage can be so huge that not many people know how deal with it. While some swallow the bitter pill and move on with their lives, there are others who carry the scars of a failed marriage with themselves forever.

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James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com