Does Divorce Run in the Family?

There are a few professions even now where the genes are believed to play an important role. It is especially applicable for artists like musicians, painters or actors, where the next generation of youngsters often step into the shoes of their father or mother, even if they may not have direct contact with them. It can then be almost uncanny and beat even wildly romantic Hollywood movies.

A handy example is the Indian sitar maestro Ravi Shankar and his two daughters – both of whom are illegitimate – and consequently not directly in touch with their father till their musical talents showed up on the global scenario. One of them is Anoushka Shankar, who plays the sitar in the same masterly way and even looks like her father. The other is Norah Jones, who is interested in a totally different genre of music, but has grown to be a musician of her own accord like her sibling.

Madness sometimes runs in the genes and this has been clinically proved in many cases. The son of a bald man is bald; a fat woman has a fat daughter; likewise, blood pressure-oriented problems and nervous disorders can also run in the family. But the story is very different for emotions. One can at most inherit certain character traits, such as propensity towards violence, tendency to brood, being jolly or even being a workaholic from the parents. But can something as complicated as divorce – with its gamut of emotions and outside factors related with it – be a hereditary matter?

What Has Not Been Proved

There is no clear and conclusive medical proof till date to establish that divorce is hereditary. Social scientists have carried out studies and surveys on this issue, but there is till date no biological trait that shows the genes carry the tendency to divorce from one generation to the next. Doctors and scientists have tried to locate the presence of such a condition or any such symptom, but have drawn a blank so far.

There are indirect ways of attaching blame on the parents if one wants to. The child of a morose woman may be just as sulky, and move out of marriage like the mother because of these depressions. On the other hand, the child of a divorcee might have a perfectly happy and healthy marriage despite a melancholic streak - and may even end up being a poet. Just because the daughter drinks as hard as the father, there is no reason why she will also turn into a spouse beater. The obviously unscientific nature of these arguments must be evident by now and there is no point in discussing them further.

What Has Been Proved

It has been noted that children of broken families have 60% more chance of going through a divorce themselves than children of a family where both parents are present, at least in the context of the UK. Apparently, the insecurity level is much higher among children of single parents, and this makes them hesitant about committing themselves in any relation whatsoever. In fact, it affects their professional commitments as well.

Emotional disorders such as tendencies towards vandalism, drug and substance abuse and other behavioural disorders are also more common among children of single parents who have witnessed parental divorce – especially for those who have been through a long legal process. This makes them shaky in their own relations, and they may face difficulties in adjusting with a partner. They will also be in two minds when committing themselves to a job or an ideal that requires a lot of time and emotional investment from them.

Lessons Learned

Children look upon their parents as role models at even subconscious levels. So they automatically begin to doubt the institution that has failed their parents despite their best efforts. This makes them question the importance of human emotions and values in general. They also come to disregard the importance of having a family or a close-knit unit of any sort. This reflects in their disinclination towards most forms of team work and tendency to take rash decisions. On the other hand, childhood poverty can also make them mean, grasping and opportunistic.

In brief, children are harmed by parental divorce. While they may have a great family life themselves, there are chances that things may be wrong in many other ways.

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James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com